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Kid Cudi - Balmain Jeans Feat. Raphael Saadiq

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Drunk In Love (The Weeknd Remix)

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I’m having dreams of her again.

I was driving downtown looking for Anthony’s Cookies with six people in my car. My cousin was sitting down in the driver seat with me, both of us buckled in somehow. I keep getting lost as my navigation keeps lagging and not showing me the proper location of where I was. We eventually end up at Anthony’s cookies and buy 60 cookies for $49.11. All of a sudden I’m in a house with a bunch of people watching televisions mounted onto the walls and furniture. I see your little brother in the corner of my eye and I start to play with him and talk to him in all comfort as if he were my own little brother I never had. Eventually he starts hanging out with my mom, and I find my watch on the ground in different scattered pieces. I attempt to put it all together when my mom starts to talk down upon me and say that I’m going to sell it to buy gifts for “you”. For some reason she was toothless in the dream and she just looked scary and talked slow.. I got angry and walked away to a set of stairs and sat on one of the steps. I started to fix my watch again, and I looked up momentarily and you were about fifty feet away from me. I ignored you and tried to fix my watch. My dad then comes out of no where and starts being all goofy like how he normally is and I see you laugh at him too. The lights all turn off and so do the tvs with the exception of one. It’s stuck on pause or something of a football game and everyone’s just staring at it, but eventually someone restarts it and the tv goes to a public television channel. People were drinking at a table nearby so I propped myself up at one of the bar tables, come to find out my cousins that I was with earlier were drunk as shit. They were yelling things I didn’t want to hear so I was closing my eyes really right and covering my ears while putting my head down on the table whispering to myself a certain phrase. I can’t remember the phrase now but it was random. I had enough and decided that I needed to go, so I made my rounds and hugged people one by one saying bye. I got to you and I thought that it’d be an awkward if not quick hug, but I was wrong. I just threw my arm over your shoulder and looked the other way in a half ass hug type of way. You hugged me securely and enough for me to feel it even in reality. You pulled me in. I started to hug you back and look at you. You were crying and I asked what was wrong. You told me “I like us. I just don’t like us when we have to make plans and decide on things” and I stood there holding you, reaffirming your thoughts. “We could’ve been the best of friends but we had to date. If we never dated things would be okay.” Then the dream gets choppy. I’m sitting on the steps again and hear a friend saying “i don’t know why she’s crying. but! Mercy sent out an email other like the other day that was really emotional and it even made me cry.” I kinda stormed down the stairs and tried to confront my friend about why she was telling everyone there about that. But as I saw a bunch of people sitting up in sleeping bags with my friend doing her story telling, the dream chops. I’m sitting at the top of the stairs now and I couldn’t get myself to leave because you were crying. Your little brother zooms passed me saying “her rooms the one with the broken door”, he came out of no where so it didn’t process and I just reacted with a “huh?” as I raise my head. You’re in the corner of my eye again and you seem to have changed clothes. You’re still crying and you’re walking towards me trying to hide your face. Eventually you somewhat push me down onto my back and mount/straddle me. You’re telling me that you miss me and you’re just hugging me as you’re on top of me. I told you that it’s been X amount of years why are you telling me this now? Were rocking back and forth slowly now, just embracing each other. I said, “it was like you didn’t even give a shit about me. You stopped speaking to me so fast. It wasn’t even a whole week after.” She told me that she got busy coaching and just couldn’t get herself to ever text me or reply to my messages because she was hurt. I told her that that’s not how it seemed from my end and she propped herself up to reveal her face full of tears and running nose. For whatever reason, she started to lips sync body party by Ciara and I could hear the song playing vividly in my head. Then she told me that I was the one.

It was at that point that my “awake mind” said “fuck that. Wake up. Stop having this dream. Stop.” A rainy morning never seemed so gloomy.

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